I visited Toronto recently and picked up a pack of Canadian cigarettes to soothe my craving. (pictured above) As I was handed my Canada pack of 20, my eyes were immediately shocked by the graphic on the front of the pack.

It's kind of cool, actually. A perfect 50/50 horizontal split. The top half is absolutely HORRIFYING. The bottom is pleasant and classy. Almost like mintyminty chewing gum.

I have a few ideas, America, for some other warning labels for morally reprehensible products which can kill you. If you have a sec, check 'em out:

Like, for instance, we could dedicate 50% of all alcohol packaging to warnings. Not just the 6-pack packaging, every bottle. Every keg and billboard. A constant reminder.

Or, we could…

Dedicate just 25% of all Twinkie packaging to explaining the possible effects of eating fatty foods. But why stop at products which can kill you? If we are truly striving to keep everyone alive as long as possible and at whatever cost, why not…

Don suitable labels for US army recruit posters and leaflets. After that, dare I consider…

A label which you face every time you get into a car. It would have to be big enough to be read by pedestrians, who are at risk of being struck by a car. If a citizen ignores these labels and chooses quality of life over life itself, chances are they'll end up here…

And there you have it. A full circle. You end up in a place which causes more death than cigarettes. Has this got you thinking? As an American, it is YOUR DUTY to assert your riteousness on your fellow citizens. Please email me your label suggestions.