BOTTLE

Green, red and yellow stained glass meshed together with black wiry coloring. Detachable candy-like red spherical top. Contents filled with ashes of one kind or another and one cigarette butt. History: Given as a gift, circa 1990. Cigarette butt formerly belonged to a man named Felix who is no longer in the United States.

CHAIR

A chair with detachable green stripy cushions. The back support is 100% real wicker. History: Acquired from the first floor of a north side Chicago apartment building put out for the taking in the laundry room, The cushion once flew off the back of a pickup truck on its way to a new home. It was, however, recovered with little or no damage.

Update: This chair escaped from my control in 2001. My mother now has it, and has re-upholstered it to her liking.

CHAIR 2

Bauhaus style white plastic chair commonly seen all over American cities in backyards and outdoor cafes. Sturdy plastic frame makes it durable and easy to stack with other chairs like it, hence popularity in many outdoor restaurants. History: Used in quiet suburban backyard as lawn furniture. Later it became a part of a kitchen furniture set in an apartment where later someone was murdered.

Update: This chair was sadly discarded in 2002, on Bedford Avenue in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. It needed to make room for a man with black furniture and a cruel disposition.

CLOGS

Black clogs with a silver buckle across the front. Heels made of wood with a rubber sole. History: Bought from a Fayva before it went out of business circa 1995. Have walked all over the city of Chicago.

Update: Shoes discontinued due to worn soles.

DOCTOR

Stands about 5 inches tall. Made of wood and hand painted. Age is unknown. When you pull the separate pieces apart (seam is between the teeth) they become parted and a message in between the teeth says "Say Ahhh". History: Bought in an antique shop in Indiana in 1993. Moved to Chicago since, and now resides in Brooklyn.

LAMP

Stands about 1 foot high. White lampshade made of 100% pure material. Base and neck made of brass. History: Has been around for over 20 years, mostly stashed in a basement somewhere around Chicago.

Update: Lamp has new small chartruese shade and has been painted a pearly white. It looks lovely.

Update 2007: This lamp was discarded in 2001, and replaced with a wall lamp in the shape of a black rooster, a kind gift from my friend Tommy.

MUG

Blue white and brown specked flowery mug circa 1973. Same owner for the last 35 years. Made its way across the United States with the aid of a motorhome. Traveled through many homes in the Chicago area.

NUTMAN

A little man wearing a green jacket who has a pistachio nut for a head. Stands about 3 inches high on a round wooden disc base. History: Bought in an antique store in Valparaiso Indiana in 1991.

Update: As of 2007, the nutman has disintegrated and was discarded in the common garbage.

PLANT

Standing about 3.5 feet high, this average houseplant has currently seen better days, and looks no longer like pictured illustration. History: Bought in a western suburb of Chicago in a makeshift tent in front of a K-Mart s. It has now resided in several locations in Chicago.

Update: Item discontinued due to it having died some time ago.

TROPHY

Stands about 6 inches high, made of some type of metal painted gold. Base is made of wood with a felt underside. History: Owner awarded this trophy for swimming well in 1980.

Update: This item has been discontinued due to it being of no real ego-boost value anymore.